Derek Kane
1st October 2007, 05:11 PM
Some Suggestions:
============
1. Unless you really have to, avoid the reception desk on embarkation day and disembarkation day.
2. Avoid queues to leave the ship by avoiding the gangway for the first couple of hours in port/at anchor (unless you're on a tour).
3. The Fish Main course as a starter if none of the "regular" starters tickles your taste buds.
4. Order wine for dinner at one of the bars during the afternoon (or via the Wine Line). Your choice should then be ready and waiting at your table when you arrive. For wine/food matches, dinner menus are available to scrutinise at some bars.
5. Without going daft, maximise on the Cocktail of the Day ... good value.
6. Champagne at £2.75 (?) a glass at departure is good value.
7. Do not rely on the library to be able to supply your travel book needs for destinations on your cruise. They are for reference only and cannot be removed from the library. Bring your own Baedekar, Insight, Rough Guide, etc.
8. Do not rely on the library to supply the latest blockbuster from J.K.Rowling, John Grisham, Stephen King, etc. They will have a copy or 2, but 500 other passengers are also relying on reading a copy during the cruise. Bring your own.
9. If you go to a film in the evening after dinner - beware - unlike a shoreside cinema, this auditorium gently sways - the combination of warm sun all day, a beer or 2 at lunch (wasn't that curry lovely?) 2 or 3 cocktails of the day, 6 course dinner, a bottle of Rioja, and an Irish Coffee, and the darkness of the cinema will induce narcosis. But don't be embarrassed - you are not alone. The cinema in the evening sometimes reminds me of Paul McCartney's "Frog Chorus" - the sound of syncopated sequence snoring!
10. (As per 9 above) try not to do this in the show lounge / theatre - especially if the cheeky comedian is performing. It must be either funny or disheartening to the hard-working, slick company singers and dancers when confronted with "An Ocean of Faces with Mouths Wide Open and Eyes Wide Shut"
Tom & Nicole in the cinema aren't really there!
11. If you are lunching up on deck, it is a good idea to secure your wine / beverages before you go to make your selections of food.
12. Save most of the unpacking (unless you choose to travel very lightly) till when you retire tonight. Excepting 2n-4n party cruises, the 1st night after dinner is usually a fairly quiet affair with many people retiring early as "it's been a long day". If the weather is glorious in Southampton, get yourself into some deck wear and relax in a lounger up on top with a Pimms, a G&T, a cocktail, a glass champagne or whatever tickles your taste buds (for example get a tray of afternoon tea comestibles from the deck restaurant) for a couple of hours before attending the compulsory SAFETY DRILL c.16:15(?).
13. When you leave the cabin to explore the ship take your Dining room table card (which is in your cabin on arrival) and visit the restaurant at c.15:00 (a manager/maitre d will be in attendance). If you are not happy about the location of your table, its size or/and the sitting, there maybe the opportunity to change it. Likewise in the hopefully unlikely event of having the "table companions from hell" (most folks who cruise however are a nice bunch) get this sorted after your 1st dinner. (Only twice out of c.20 cruises have we done this: the 1st for environmental reasons - we were right by the waiters fast lane and revolving doors to the galley; the 2nd time after the main course and before dessert - yes they (the “companions”) were very bad!!!).
14. Forget about snappy cabin-service (room-service) on embarkation day. If you desire a bottle of champagne or/and nibbles for the departure up on your balcony order them as soon as you board and say you want them in your cabin ready for after the safety drill.
15. As I am a very early bird and my wife enjoys the luxury for her of a lie-in, I keep in contact with her during the morning a couple of times by using one of the bar or corridor telephones. This saves a lot of traipsing down the length of the ship and we don't have to waste time looking for each other and arranging where to meet for late breakfast or early lunch.
16. Do not feel that you need to book an excursion for every port or for all the day that you are in port. I personally feel that excursions are not the best value for money. The exception would be where there is a "must-see" that is a long way from the port or/and where public transport cannot be relied upon. If you are late getting back to the berth or tender point the ship will NOT wait for you unless you are on an official tour that has been delayed.
17. Do feel encouraged to linger on board when in port or at anchor. The ship takes on a different and not unwelcome ambiance with half or more of the passengers ashore. Remember all the facilities that you have already paid for are at hand, the service will be snappier and, other than in the most exceptional of destinations or establishments you will find little better ashore. To my mind spending a day onboard in a unremarkable port is the equal of a warm, languid sea-day. RELAX and forget about traffic, pollution, pick-pockets, paying out for this, that and the other, etc, etc.
18. Other than when the ship is very quiet it is nearly always quicker to use the stairways. That way you keep yourself trim (remember there's a lot of food morning, noon and night that's just there for the taking) and it helps free the lifts up for those less ambulant of folks.
19. On the last day (usually at sea) pack all but one of your cases as early as possible. That way you are free for most of the rest of the day – a day to savour the last of what will be one of the most memorable holidays you will ever take … and believe me … you WILL go on more P&O cruises but the 1st will ALWAYS be special!
20. You will standout as a Newcomer if:
a). You call the ship a boat.
b). You ask what "floor" is the cinema on.
c). You refer to your cabin as your room.
d). You call the bow the pointy end and the stern the blunt end.
e). You refer to the right hand or left hand side of the ship. Depending on whether you are facing the pointy or blunt end, both sides of the ship can be left and right. That is why there are the terms Starboard & Port.
f). At the safety drill on embarkation day you come in to the muster station wearing your life jacket.
g). When you see the Captain doing a tour of the ship and glad-handing passengers you call out "'Ere! Who's driving the Boat, Cap'n?"
HAVE A WONDERFUL CRUISE!
Derek “The Monocled Mutineer” Kane
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o Q
<
\__/
|>o<|
============
1. Unless you really have to, avoid the reception desk on embarkation day and disembarkation day.
2. Avoid queues to leave the ship by avoiding the gangway for the first couple of hours in port/at anchor (unless you're on a tour).
3. The Fish Main course as a starter if none of the "regular" starters tickles your taste buds.
4. Order wine for dinner at one of the bars during the afternoon (or via the Wine Line). Your choice should then be ready and waiting at your table when you arrive. For wine/food matches, dinner menus are available to scrutinise at some bars.
5. Without going daft, maximise on the Cocktail of the Day ... good value.
6. Champagne at £2.75 (?) a glass at departure is good value.
7. Do not rely on the library to be able to supply your travel book needs for destinations on your cruise. They are for reference only and cannot be removed from the library. Bring your own Baedekar, Insight, Rough Guide, etc.
8. Do not rely on the library to supply the latest blockbuster from J.K.Rowling, John Grisham, Stephen King, etc. They will have a copy or 2, but 500 other passengers are also relying on reading a copy during the cruise. Bring your own.
9. If you go to a film in the evening after dinner - beware - unlike a shoreside cinema, this auditorium gently sways - the combination of warm sun all day, a beer or 2 at lunch (wasn't that curry lovely?) 2 or 3 cocktails of the day, 6 course dinner, a bottle of Rioja, and an Irish Coffee, and the darkness of the cinema will induce narcosis. But don't be embarrassed - you are not alone. The cinema in the evening sometimes reminds me of Paul McCartney's "Frog Chorus" - the sound of syncopated sequence snoring!
10. (As per 9 above) try not to do this in the show lounge / theatre - especially if the cheeky comedian is performing. It must be either funny or disheartening to the hard-working, slick company singers and dancers when confronted with "An Ocean of Faces with Mouths Wide Open and Eyes Wide Shut"
Tom & Nicole in the cinema aren't really there!
11. If you are lunching up on deck, it is a good idea to secure your wine / beverages before you go to make your selections of food.
12. Save most of the unpacking (unless you choose to travel very lightly) till when you retire tonight. Excepting 2n-4n party cruises, the 1st night after dinner is usually a fairly quiet affair with many people retiring early as "it's been a long day". If the weather is glorious in Southampton, get yourself into some deck wear and relax in a lounger up on top with a Pimms, a G&T, a cocktail, a glass champagne or whatever tickles your taste buds (for example get a tray of afternoon tea comestibles from the deck restaurant) for a couple of hours before attending the compulsory SAFETY DRILL c.16:15(?).
13. When you leave the cabin to explore the ship take your Dining room table card (which is in your cabin on arrival) and visit the restaurant at c.15:00 (a manager/maitre d will be in attendance). If you are not happy about the location of your table, its size or/and the sitting, there maybe the opportunity to change it. Likewise in the hopefully unlikely event of having the "table companions from hell" (most folks who cruise however are a nice bunch) get this sorted after your 1st dinner. (Only twice out of c.20 cruises have we done this: the 1st for environmental reasons - we were right by the waiters fast lane and revolving doors to the galley; the 2nd time after the main course and before dessert - yes they (the “companions”) were very bad!!!).
14. Forget about snappy cabin-service (room-service) on embarkation day. If you desire a bottle of champagne or/and nibbles for the departure up on your balcony order them as soon as you board and say you want them in your cabin ready for after the safety drill.
15. As I am a very early bird and my wife enjoys the luxury for her of a lie-in, I keep in contact with her during the morning a couple of times by using one of the bar or corridor telephones. This saves a lot of traipsing down the length of the ship and we don't have to waste time looking for each other and arranging where to meet for late breakfast or early lunch.
16. Do not feel that you need to book an excursion for every port or for all the day that you are in port. I personally feel that excursions are not the best value for money. The exception would be where there is a "must-see" that is a long way from the port or/and where public transport cannot be relied upon. If you are late getting back to the berth or tender point the ship will NOT wait for you unless you are on an official tour that has been delayed.
17. Do feel encouraged to linger on board when in port or at anchor. The ship takes on a different and not unwelcome ambiance with half or more of the passengers ashore. Remember all the facilities that you have already paid for are at hand, the service will be snappier and, other than in the most exceptional of destinations or establishments you will find little better ashore. To my mind spending a day onboard in a unremarkable port is the equal of a warm, languid sea-day. RELAX and forget about traffic, pollution, pick-pockets, paying out for this, that and the other, etc, etc.
18. Other than when the ship is very quiet it is nearly always quicker to use the stairways. That way you keep yourself trim (remember there's a lot of food morning, noon and night that's just there for the taking) and it helps free the lifts up for those less ambulant of folks.
19. On the last day (usually at sea) pack all but one of your cases as early as possible. That way you are free for most of the rest of the day – a day to savour the last of what will be one of the most memorable holidays you will ever take … and believe me … you WILL go on more P&O cruises but the 1st will ALWAYS be special!
20. You will standout as a Newcomer if:
a). You call the ship a boat.
b). You ask what "floor" is the cinema on.
c). You refer to your cabin as your room.
d). You call the bow the pointy end and the stern the blunt end.
e). You refer to the right hand or left hand side of the ship. Depending on whether you are facing the pointy or blunt end, both sides of the ship can be left and right. That is why there are the terms Starboard & Port.
f). At the safety drill on embarkation day you come in to the muster station wearing your life jacket.
g). When you see the Captain doing a tour of the ship and glad-handing passengers you call out "'Ere! Who's driving the Boat, Cap'n?"
HAVE A WONDERFUL CRUISE!
Derek “The Monocled Mutineer” Kane
|||||
o Q
<
\__/
|>o<|